Projections.

LAX is in turmoil.

Flights are being delayed here and then rerouted there as a constant tide of irate commuters haul their luggage back and forth. I’m flying to Phoenix to shoot for the company Nimble Films. My flight is unsurprisingly delayed, which wouldn’t usually be much of a problem except for the fact that I’ve never been this high at an airport before in my entire life. Earlier, my buddy—let’s call him Bud—shared his very potent edible with me, a decision I knew I’d later regret, but I went ahead and ate it anyway because; well, why the hell not? Meanwhile, my eyes are now drying up exponentially and my tongue feels like sandpaper. I go and buy a bottle of water at Starbucks, and, giving in to temptation, I also get a vanilla latte and a slice of banana walnut bread. The water cleans, the warm coffee soothes, and the caffeine sharpens. I can feel the high subsiding. I am back in control.

Soon my flight boards and I apprehensively take my assigned window seat and strap in, putting in my headphones and closing my eyes. Twenty minutes later we reach our cruising altitude and I reopen them, releasing my death grip from the hand rests. The flight attendant begins her rounds for drink orders. All is as it should be, and yet, I can’t help but think something terrible is about to happen. Suddenly there’s turbulence and the cabin violently shakes as we drop 1,000 feet in altitude at the blink of an eye. Overhead luggage falls out of the bins and topples to the floor, knocking out the flight attendant as she tries to calm the passengers. The plane banks ninety degrees toward the earth and plummets. Thinking quickly, I rip off my tray-table, and elbow a hole through my window. The rupture causes a massive tear in the plane, sucking other poor souls out into the sky. I unbuckle my seatbelt, mount my tray-table, and take a leap of faith, sailing through the sky like the silver surfer toward an oncoming mountain peak. I land with grace and snowboard down the steep Cliffside, dodging trees and boulders as the plane crashes nearby in a fiery eruption, causing an avalanche. I expertly avoid the onslaught of twisted metal and make it safely to the bottom where a butterscotch blonde is conveniently waiting for me in the passenger seat of a convertible Porsche 911. I hop in and she immediately unzips my pants. I floor the pedal and together we drive off toward the horizon.

The ding of the fasten Seatbelts sign breaks me of this fantasy, and reality returns. The plane makes its expected final descent toward Phoenix.

***

Today I’m on set with the hard-bodied, Scarlet Glam, and newcomer, Mia Foxx.

The plot: Mia wants to work for Nimble Films and Scarlet, being their respective casting agent, has just the tool to test Mia’s ability: my cock. On action, I lay naked on the couch and receive a double blowjob. The girls spit and slobber, Scarlet instructing the “naïve” Mia on how to properly tease and deep throat. Scarlet straddles Mia’s face while I fuck Mia in missionary. Then I fuck Mia doggy-style as she hungrily laps at Scarlet. Mia bounces on me in reverse cowgirl while Scarlet licks her pussy and occasionally sucks me off. Then we return to the original double blowjob position and the girls milk me dry. They share a gloriously gooey kiss before kissing the camera goodbye. Cut. Print.

Afterward, Mia returns to makeup to get a quick touch up before shooting a solo scene. Her and I don’t speak much after that, but as I climb the red Arizona rocks that lie adjacent to the Nimble Films’ house, I peer down and admire her as she sits poolside, playing with herself for the camera.

During a quick break, she playfully calls out to me and yells, “You’re so weird!”

“Yeah, but you like it,” I call back.

She giggles and blows me a kiss.

I can see the future now: boy and girl will spend quality time together, revealing secrets about one another. They will embrace in one night of passion and fall asleep with their bodies intertwined. The rising sun will wake them as it gleams through the bedroom window. The two will roll around between the sheets, showering each other in kisses. While admiring his little foxx, as he will affectionately call her, the boy will run his hands over her warmth, feeling every curve of her perfect shape. He will kiss her back and caress her shoulders, nibbling her skin as she relaxes her body, letting it melt into his. She will offer her neck, beckoning him to take a bite. He will sink his teeth into her, sending shivers down her spine. She will turn to him and he’ll cup her face, gazing into her beautiful brown eyes. The boy will be in love, but as usual, he will be thinking with his little head instead of his big head.

Sometimes the attraction shared between scene partners is so strong that it just feels natural to be in love, but I have to remind myself to remain professional. We had a good day at work, and that’s all it was and all it probably ever will be. They can’t all love me, although I wouldn’t be against such a thing. It’s nice to feel wanted outside the parameters of porn. I enjoy knowing my partner craves me when they aren’t forced to pretend. It makes me feel a little less like a monster, and more like a person again, a quality I think I have been missing for some time now.